Made To Crave

Satisfying your desire without food. Interesting read so far. It is supposed to help you:

Break the cycle of “I’ll start again on Monday,” and feel good about yourself today.
Stop agonizing over numbers on the scale and make peace with your body.
Replace rationalization that leads to diet failure with wisdom that leads to victory.
Reach your healthy goals and grow closer to God through the process.

It is written for young girls but the principles are the same.

Learning many things about myself. Trying to recognize some bad habits, triggers and what to do in place of succumbing to my bad habits. Trying to brainstorm ways to not give in to my bad habits of binge eating, or eating my feelings instead of feeling them. Hard work.


Im definitely a work in progress but i am well worth it.

Week 3 C25K Completed

Just stopping by to say week 3 is a killer. I am so out of shape that I cant run for a complete 3 minutes at a time. I have to pause then go again. I do hit the pause button on the app also. So I am running the distance just have to pause a lot. I will get there even if I run like a tortoise.

C25K Week 1 Completed

Week 1 of C25K done and in the history books. My freaking hips are killing me. But i am feeling very much accomplished.


I have also joined a program called "Back on Track" by

Bariatric Support Centers International

That is what materials I am using. I am attending a weekly webinar associated with the back on track materials with WLS Success Matters. The hosts are Sandi from Banded Living and Wendy Campell AKA Banded Wendy of Proof WLS Works. The course materials are very informative. And I am daily discovering new things about myself, my tool and gaining knowledge to work this tool at its best. The weekly webinars with those two woman are meaty to say the least. They are both very genuine in there care for people with wls to reach there full potential and the back on track program is just that. For those who find themselves slipping like I was.


Saturday my daughter will be coming to help me do my fitness assessment. One of the assignments I need to do. basically how many push ups, sit ups etc that I can do now. So I can gauge my progress at the end of the course.


Today I also started my 5 day Kick Start portion of the program. Basically getting my body in Ketosis mode so it will start burning stored fat and not sugar reserves. So woke up and ate bacon and eggs :)


For some reason today I am feeling drained. Could it be the lack of caffeine maybe as I cannot have any sweeteners for 5 days.So no coffee.


Here's to living Your Best Life.

Couch To 5K Day 1

My daughter and I have talked back and forth about doing a 5K together. We both need to get into shape. I am a hit and miss when it comes to exercising. I have not found anything that I love to do. I have ADD when it comes to a formal routine of exercise. I dont obey the rules of WLS when it comes to exercise. I will do it a few days then nothing. Bottom line I get bored easily. Too easy. So I saw someone post about a Color Run. It looked like it was fun, not your typical run against the time kind of 5 K. I was stoked. Yes stoked. That is a word back from my teenage years just in case you are too young to remember ever hearing that word.



So a little research and I downloaded an app on my new pink IPOD lol

Day one complete. Thankfully the app has you run one minute and walk another. Or else I think I would die. Yesterday on our family outing. My daughter says "Mom you wont be upset if Sue and I run ahead of you". O little girl dont underestimate your momma. Of course I said not at all. She knows how competitive her momma is. I like a challenge and I dont want to eat anyones dust. Mind you I wouldnt mind her trainer leaving me because that chick is fit as can be. But my daughter thats another story. I will be on her heals. Love that girl.



I am also excited because one of my best friends is going to run in the same color run as me. It will all be our first 5k. I say there will be three emotional woman by the end of the finish line.

New Pantry Items/ Miracle Noodles etc

I am sure my friends and family on facebook are getting tired of my weight loss and struggle status messages. But really do I care? Nope. I have bought me some things to try. So these are going into my pantry.

I am really looking forward to trying these miracle noodles. If anyone has tried them let me know what you think. Going to try these recipes. Miracle Noodle Recipes

Some Fun

Work it girlie.



Get Down Big Boy :P

Drum Roll Please....

I am super excited about getting closer to my own "Onderland". Two pounds away :) In celebration I ordered me a new pink ipod to load all my pics and music on. Too cute. I also cut off my hair. I have been wanting to do this for a long time. My hair is so thin and I love the sporty look. Most people like it :) Here is my new do:

I still need to learn how to fix it :)

Learning a lot of things about myself. Discovered YES I am an emotional eater. It wasnt until an argument not initiated from me but a girlfriend who had issues with me throwing out opened boxes and canisters of junk food. I had a bunch after the holidays and for me to be successful at this there are times I cant have this stuff in the house. So I pitched them in the trash. I also posted about it on Facebook. MISTAKE. She jumped on it and told me it was "disgraceful to throw away food". Thankfully I didnt retort back with nasty stuff though I wanted to. i explained that I have been dealing with a lot of emotional stuff lately and was resorting to eating my feelings. She literally said "oh brother". I could of done a lot of things. I could have just unloaded with a bunch of nasty things back. But I tried to think about where she was coming from. And yes I realized why she was so harsh. It wasnt about ME at all. Though it did hurt my feelings. I am glad to say that I didnt medicate myself with food. That is what I usually do. Either that or take a nap. Those are my two ways of dealing with hurtful things. I stayed awake and just felt the feelings.

Where Have I been

It has been a long time since I have blogged. Shame on me for sure. So many things have happened in a year. I am still a work in progress. Dealing with the good the bad and the ugly in this weight loss journey. I have met so many wonderful people through facebook and the wls forums. I have truly been blessed by recieving there knowledge and support. The past few months i have noticed myself going back to the old behaviors when it has come to eating and fitness. I have lost 79 pounds to date amd right now I am a comfortable 14/16 dress and pants. And I can say I am comfortable in my own skin. I can dress nice and feel good about myself. And with this comes the double edged sword. Being too comfortable that I start to slack off. Eat things that I really shouldnt too often. Thankfully I felt myself starting to snap back and realize if I continue this I wil blow up again. That I do not want to do again. I dont want to be the fat girl anymore. I want to continue to feel good about myself. So money where my mouth is I joined not one but two challenge groups on facebook. I need the structure. the constant in your face. The constant journaling. OMG I am an addict for sure. This is something that is so hard for me accepting te ugly that is in me. Discovering all the while I said I wasnt an emotional eater just to find out that I freaking am! So hard to sit down and evaluate yourself. To point the finger back at yourself and call you on your own BS. I want to be the healthy girl. I want to be the active girl who doesnt get short of breath during a physical activity. Slowly I am becoming who I want to be. Here is a little view of the girl I am becoming. The bottom two pics are of me at my heaviest at 290.

Scale

Have to remind myself of this.
Food for the day done. Water consumed. Gonna enjoy my weekend.

Update. Square One. No restriction!

Recently had struggles with lap band knowing I was too tight.
Too many episodes of not keeping food down, Not able to eat but a few bites at a time. Not even a
a 1/2 c of food. So after puking up water cause it wouldnt go down I made that appointment for an unfill. I was told on the last fill to just wait it out. They thought I irritated my opening with supplements ugh! Then come to find out I was too tight. Tight enough that even liquid was making my pouch dilate over my band slightly.
Not good at all. Result taking out 3 cc of fluid and leaving me wide open.


Im just plugging along trying to work this band.